𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 – 𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈

When I started coaching, I thought presence meant active listening—nodding, tracking conversations—but true presence is deeper. It’s about embracing uncertainty and trusting the process.

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔; it’s the energy we bring. Deb Dana’s work on the autonomic nervous system shows trust and safety arise through co-regulation—our nervous systems communicating.

By being fully present, calm, and attentive, we create a space where clients feel safe to explore their thoughts and emotions. This energetic exchange deepens connection, making conversations more explorative.

Early on, I feared silence, believing I had to steer discussions or provide answers. But everything shifted when I let go of control. In one session, I resisted filling a silence, exhaled, and waited. My client then voiced a profound insight. I realized my role wasn’t to know everything but to hold space for discovery.

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏—it’s noticing when we drift and gently return. Like mindfulness, it’s catching ourselves and re-centering in the moment.

This shift transformed my coaching. Now, I sense what a coachee hesitates to say and hear the energy in their words.

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒅, even without knowing the outcome, to trust that the client holds their answers, and to lean into curiosity instead of judgment.

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎—it doesn’t demand attention, yet its warmth creates safety and clarity. As coaches, we provide that steady flame, even when it flickers. The key is noticing when it wavers and bringing it back, so exploration remains safe.

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆𝒕𝒚. Safety builds trust. Trust fosters courage. Courage fuels growth.

Being present is more than showing up—it is embracing uncertainty and staying connected to the coaching dynamic. When we trust this connection, transformation happens.

If you’ve ever struggled with silence or uncertainty, know you’re not alone. As Marcia Reynolds says, “𝑪𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕; 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕.” Depth in coaching comes from “the deepening of presence, not the perfection of skills.”

What does maintaining presence mean to you?

Written by Louise Hyland – ICF-ACC
Workplace Mediator, Conflict and Leadership Coach
Catalyst Coach Partner – Ireland 🇮🇪